"S.H.E" (April 29, 2010)

"S.H.E" IS NOT MY FRIEND...WHICH IS CRAZY THAT SOMETHING THAT'S APART OF ME WANTS TO HINDER ME FROM MAKING IT TO MY EXPECTED END...

I MEAN DON'T GET IT TWISTED I ALREADY KNEW THAT "S.H.E" COULDN'T BE TRUSTED...
LOOK AT WHAT "S.H.E" LIKES....THINGS SO SINFUL EVEN THE DEVIL LUSTED

SO THE ENEMY AND "S.H.E" ARE ONE IN THE SAME...
KILL, STEAL, AND DESTROYING IS THEIR GAME...

WHY THEY TRY TO SPOIL ME WITH THINGS APPEALING TO MY FLESH...
MY GOD COMES IN AND REMINDS ME THAT...WHAT HE HAS I NEED TO TAKE MY NEXT BREATH...

SO LETS TAKE A MINUTE TO REALLY BREAK THIS THING DOWN...
WHILE "S.H.E" WINS OLYMPIC SWIM MEETS....WITHOUT GOD...I DROWN!

AND I CANT LIE...I LIKE SOME OF THE THINGS "S.H.E" LIKE...
BUT WHEN I DO THOSE THINGS..."S.H.E" AND MY CONSCIOUS FIGHT...

AND HONESTLY, IM NOT TRYING TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT...
PRAYING AND REPENTING ABOUT WHAT "S.H.E" MADE ME DO...
SO THIS IS WHY IM WRITING THIS POEM TO TELL YOU..."S.H.E"...YOU AND ME ARE THRU!

SEE, "S.H.E"...YOU HAVE GOTTEN ME IN TROUBLE SO MANY TIMES...
WHEN I THOUGHT YOU HAD MY BACK...YOU TURNED YA CHEEK AND SAID I WAS FINE!

YOU LEFT ME OUT THERE TO DIE...
AND WHEN I NEEDED YOU....IT WAS GOD WHO WAS THERE TO WIPE MY TEARS AS I CRIED!

"S.H.E" WAS NEVER THERE WHEN I REALLY NEEDED HER TO BE...
BUT IRONICALLY, WHEN I WANTED SOMETHING..."S.H.E" ALWAYS SAID COME SEE ME...

"S.H.E" TENDED TO MY FLESH...AND TRUST "S.H.E" DID IT THE BEST...
BUT WHEN MY SPIRIT NEEDED MORE..."S.H.E" OFFERED LESS AND LESS!!!

SO I PRAYED TO GOD AND ASKED HIM WHAT SHOULD I DO...
AND "S.H.E" ...HE REVEALED THE UGLY TRUTH TO ME ABOUT YOU...

HE SAID DON'T YOU GET IT..."S.H.E" IS YOUR FLESH!!
WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU JUST HAD TO FIGHT THE DEVIL...."SHE HELPS ENEMY".... AND THAT'S WHY YOU FIND YOURSELF WITH DOUBLE THE MESS!!

SO ALL THIS TIME "S.H.E" YOU WERE ON THE WRONG TEAM....
TRYING TO GAIN MY TRUST...THINKING IN "S.H.E" I CAN CONFIDE...
WHY WOULD I DO THAT WHEN IM MVP ON GODS SIDE...

SO KNOW THAT ITS OVER AND YOU'LL NEVER BE A FRIEND TO ME...
"SHE HELPS the ENEMY"....

Deitrick Haddon - We cry holy

~WHY BOTHER~ (4/2/2010)

SOMETIMES ITS LIKE ALL I CAN DO IS GET RIGHT!

AND THE MORE I LIVE FOR GOD THAT HARDER I HAVE TO FIGHT...

WHILE IM TRYING TO AVOID STEERING MY OWN WILL!

WHEN I KNOW I TOLD YOU BEFORE MY W.I.L.L.. YOU CAN NEVER STEAL...

SEE, I WAS BORN INTO THIS WORLD ALREADY PREDESTINED!

SO TRUST ME WHEN I SAY MY VISION IS THE LAST THING YOU SHOULD BE TESTING...

AND, HONESTLY YOU REALLY MAKING ME ANGRY!

TRYING TO DANGLE TEMPTATION IN FRONT OF ME...BUT MY STRUGGLE WILL NEVER TAME ME...

IM A RADICAL....JESUS CHASING....DAUGHTER!

AND, YOU ASK WHERE I GET IT FROM.....HER MAMA TAUGHT HER...

SO I CANT TELL YOU WHAT DEFEAT LOOKING LIKE!

CUZ THE TEAM I REP AINT NO MAYBE'S OR MIGHTS...

SO AINT NO MAYBE I MIGHT BE VICTORIOUS!

CUZ  FAVOR AINT FAIR BUT WITH IT MY LIFE IS GLORIOUS...

THATS THE BENEFITS OF BEING GODS CHOSEN!

MY GOD CHOSE ME AND I TATTED IT ON MY WRIST SO THAT THE WHOLE WORLD CAN SEE...

I HAVE HUMBLY ACCEPTED MY CALLING!

AND, NOW YOU MAD CUZ THEM LITTLE SLIP UPS...NO LONGER GOT ME FALLING...

BE REAL WITH YOURSELF BEFORE YOU COME TO ME WITH THAT MESS!

CUZ, I PRAYED ONE PRAYER AND NOW YOU STRESSED...

TELL YOU ABOUT THE DEVIL BEING A MONKEY ON MY BACK!

BUT, ITS COOL CUZ I GOT SOMETHING FOR THAT MATTER OF FACT...

HOW MANY TIMES DID I TELL YOU...YOUR BOX WILL NEVER FIT ME!

OR THE FACT THAT JOHN 3:16 WAS MEANT FOR ME...

I KNOW WHO I SERVE!

AND, YOU GONE TRY TO DISTRACT ME....AINT THAT SOME NERVE...

AND, IN CASE YOU FORGOT YOU UNGRATEFUL DEVIL...HE CREATED YOU TOO!

SO AINT NO POWER STRUGGLE CUZ HE WHO DWELLS IN HIM LIVES FOREVER...SO STOP ACTING BRAND NEW...

IM ONE OF GOD'S PEOPLE SO IMMA ALWAYS MAKE IT THRU!

YOU AINT GOTTA WORRY ABOUT TIFF CUZ TRUST I KNOW WHO THE TRUTH...

I GOT A SPIRITUAL STD AND IM BURNING FOR JESUS!

WHILE IM SPREADING HIS VIRUS TO HIS PEOPLE CUZ HE NEEDS US...

BY WORD OF MOUTH THRU MY WRITTEN POETRY!

I WANT EVERYONE TO SEE THAT GOD LIVES IN ME...

CUZ TRUST IM FAR FROM PERFECT BUT MY PRAISE IS A PERFECT 10!

AND, WHAT I FOUND IN ONE MAN...YOU'LL NEVER FIND IN ANY MEN...

SO DONT GET CAUGHT UP IN THIS WORLDLY HYPE!

THINKING YOU MISSING OUT CUZ YOU THE JESUS TYPE...

WHEN REALLY THATS AN HONOR TO BE CHOSEN BY OUR FATHER!

AND, SINCE YOU KNOW YOU GONE LOSE DEVIL, WHY BOTHER?

WHY BOTHER WITH DEFEAT!

CUZ SURELY GODS QUOTA YOU'LL NEVER MEET...

HE BIRTHING UP QUALITY...KINGDOM WORKERS!

ONES WHO DONT DWELL ON THEIR NOW...SO STOP THINKING THAT YOU CURRENTLY BROKE US...

I KNOW THE CONCEPT OF MY EXPECTED END YOU CANT EVEN GRASP!

WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU PUT ME BEHIND...BUT WHEN ITS ALL SAID AND DONE...YOU FINISH LAST...

SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND ASK WHY BOTHER?

CUZ GOD AINT NOTHING TO PLAY WITH....THATS WHY I SERVE MY FATHER!

......2010...

SEE IN MY OWN WORLD WHAT WE GOT IS PERFECT...

AND IF THEY CLONED YOUR DNA...WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU THEY COULDNT BIRTH IT...

I AM AUTHENTICALLY LOVING YOUR AUTHENTICITY...

AND THE ORIGIN OF YOUR FLAWS AND ALL GOT ME THINKING THAT "THIS IS ME"

SO WHEN WE APART JUST TAKE A PIECE OF ME...

CUZ ITS JUST NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU HERE...SO NOW IM MISSING ME...

YOU JUST DONT KNOW HOW I JOCK YOU MENTALLY...THEN PHYSICALLY...

AND I DONT WORRY CUZ I KNOW YOUR BODIES INTO ME...

BUT WHAT IM REALLY AFTER IS THOSE THOUGHTS THAT FLOAT THRU YA HEAD...

I WANNA BE SO FAR INTO YOU THAT I KNOW WHAT YOU THINKING BEFORE ITS SAID... 

I WANT WHAT WE GOT TO BE SO DEEP THAT ITS TRANSPARENT...

SO THAT WAY WHEN THE DEVIL SEES IT...HE SACRIFICES HIS LIFE SO HE CAN SPARE IT...

DAMN, I JUST WANT YOU!

THIS WAS A PIECE THAT I STARTED WRITING ABOUT SOMEONE WHO USE TO PLAY A BIG ROLE IN MY LIFE. AFTER BEING APART I FOUND THAT SOME FEELINGS WERE STILL THERE. ITS SO CRAZY HOW LIFE NEVER TURNS OUT THE WAY YOU THINK...  NOW IM BACK TO BEING SINGLE AND I FIND MYSELF REALLY TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM, WHAT I LIKE, WHAT IM LOOKING FOR. LIFE LIFE LIFE!!! ONE THING IF NOTHING ELSE I CAN DEF SAY THAT LIFE IS TOO SHORT. YOU CAN ONLY BE THE BEST YOU THAT YOU CAN BE. LIVE FOR YOU AND WHAT PLEASES YOU. DONT HOLD YOURSELF BACK FROM SUCCEEDING AND DONT ALLOW OTHERS TO HOLD YOU BACK. AT THE END OF THE DAY WHEN WE CHECK UP OUTTA HERE ITS YOU AND GOD!!! NEVER LOOSE YOU DESIRES AND REMEMBER TO DREAM BIG! TRUST ONLY GOD TO COME THRU 100% OF THE TIME... AND WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS REMEMBER THAT GOD HAS A PLAN. SO EVEN IN THE MIST OF MY MESS AND TRYING TO FIGURE ME OUT...I SAY GOD WITHOUT YOU I AM NOTHING... AND I KNOW THAT YOUR NOT DONE WITH ME YET!!!

"LET YOUR WALK REPRESENT YOUR TALK...LIVE FOR GOD AND BE BLESSED"

I CHOOSE ME!!!

DUE TO MY RECENT SINGLE ENDEAVORS I HAVE REACHED THE FOLLOWING POINTS: THINGS HAVE CHANGED AND THE GAME IS NOT THE SAME... FOR SOME ODD REASON I THOUGHT IN MY MIND THAT BEING SINGLE AGAIN WAS GOING TO BE OK...AND DONT GET ME WRONG CUZ IMMA DO ME ALL DAY...BUT THE THE HELL IS WRONG WITH NIGGAZ? AND ITS SO BAD THAT THEY HAVE EVOLVED INTO WELL ESTABLISHED NIGGAZ SO ITS KINDA LIKE THEY NOW HAVE TO PERFECT COVER UP...

SO YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY RIGHT!!!

IN ALL THINGS YOU DO...DONT FORGET WHY YOU DID IT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

I HAD TO REMEMBER THE REASON WHY I DECIDED TO BE SINGLE ANYWAY. IT REALLY DOESNT MATTER WHAT THE NEXT MAN IS DOING BECAUSE MY FOCUS NEEDS AND IS ON GOD..... I CAN STOP SAYING THAT I JUST WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL AND IN THAT THE PATH TO SUCCESS MAYBE A LONELY ONE. AND I KNOW THAT ITS OK....I DONT NEED A MAN AND EVEN THOUGH THERE NICE SOMETIMES....I REMEMBER I CHOSE ME....

SO WHEN YOUR MAKING THOSE BIG DECISIONS IN LIFE....ASK YOURSELF.... WHO DO I CHOOSE???